Sam is off to school

The empty nest is a reality. Dropped him at school today @ 8:00 and were done by 9:30. The proverbial trip to Target, unload and unpack, and then on the road again. Time flies...what would we do without cliches.

Progress

Well - down 14 lbs and counting. Ironically, it has not been hard and I've not stressed too much. The best part is that I'm eating better. Last night I went to Friendly's and had fried food - big mistake and my system let me know it.

WW

Well the great task is taken up once again. I have again joined the ranks of weight watchers. Tonight was my first weigh in and it went reasonable well; I lost 2.6 pounds. What was positive was that there was no great strain to the process. The slightly altered system, coupled with a new vigor to achieve my goals, seems to be made for me. The points are greater each day, there are extra points available to fall upon if you have a bad day and all this leads to a less hungry, slower weight loss program. Most important is that I am eating much better and am willing to explore culinary options once eschewed. Ironically, I've been so careful the past few days I have to eat a lot at dinner to fulfill the point total.

So, the goals are to

• lose at least 35, better yet 45 pounds in the 6 - 9 months
• lower cholesterol
• get off pressure med
• run a 1/2 marathon sometime in the next year

Unhappy

Interesting homily at the Vincentians this morning. The reading was the one about Judas and the 30 pieces of silver. The story is so familiar and the image so over used they've become cliche. Yet, it still works and it's still rings true. How often do we see people, colleagues, friends, ourselves for all love, selling bits and pieces of ourselves? I guess the sale of self is not simply the issue, perhaps it is inevitable, but the real issue is can we see what we are doing and continue the lifelong process of seeking change and grace.

What is the difference between the betrayal of Judas and the betrayal of Peter? Judas saw that what he did was wrong, but why, after walking all those years with Jesus could he not ask for forgiveness. Judas bothers me and Peter inspires me.

I see Peter in my Vincentian friends, most older priests who are more forgiving than chastising. They recognize their own weakness and in mass speak of the need to be forgiven. They too inspire and give comfort and the wisdom of long lives.

Talmon

He sweated. Silent and still in the crowd, Talmon kept his distance from the rest. Not touching, he strained to keep others from touching him. He strained to keep the loose, light robe from swaying and touching his skin so that the sweat would glide in cascades undisturbed. He hated being touched. The crowd‘s noise rose in a crescent with the dust kick by their many feet. They stood in a semi-circle as if in an amphitheater to watch the grand spectacle. And it would be a spectacle of noise, blood and the strange release of hatred thrown at another who you fear. But the woman was a not the one feared, it was the teacher. Talmon did not understand why it was made known to him that he should be at the foot of the olive grove and to be prepared. It might be fun – a stoning and then maybe another if the crowd could be worked carefully enough. So he stood the morning sun, hot, and waited.
The teacher came first with the usual crowd of indigent, intelligent and curious onlookers. Some were there to listen and learn while others were mere spectators waiting for an event so they could rush off and tell other and reflect the glory of the event with its retelling. Talmon had seen the man often enough in the temple and streets. He was never alone, always trailing humanity buzzing like flies with incessant talk and laughter. Even Talmon had followed and waited for something to happen, hoping to hear something that would explain the crowds. There was a wonderful quietness and lack of striving in this man. Many of the other teachers or masters had an edge and attitude, but not this one. As the teacher sat, there was an odd heaviness as if he carried a burden. But maybe, like Talmon, it was the sweat and he moved slowly so as to avoid the cloth touching skin. He was very still and Talmon appreciated this stillness. And in this stillness, the people came and sat near him to wait, and watch, and listen. His message as always was simple and straightforward. In some ways too simple for the scholar Talmon, who, when struck with a moment of humility, liked the idea that he could as easily confound his students and friends as enlighten them, and there was power in this shading.

Alice Cary

I'm at the tail end of my sixth class, which has been a struggle. Even Mo tells me that I never seemed to connect to the course. I wish I could figure out why since I like the professor and enjoyed many of the works. The only thing I can think of is that I'm the type of student who likes to hear what the teacher has to say, what other scholars have said, and then react. I don't like sitting around and simply talking about the text for three hours, especially in a small group.

One fun thing is that I've begun to read Alice Cary's work and I like it - especially after Hawthorne. I find this entire 19th century group of transcendental writers tiring. They are too self absorbed and this hurts their work. I still love Melville, Twain, and now Alice Cary. Her work is lyrical and there is an oddity in the tales, a depth of human understanding that I have loved so far.

Reading her makes me wonder why women authors seem to fall off the end of the earth. To what extent is the male scholarly world too self-important to take the straight forward writing of women seriously.

Salmon River

Mo and I hikes the loop around Day Pond - what a day. It was as nice a day for a hike as I can remember. The hike was pleasant enough, slight narrow trails with many rocks. There were a number of rock walls and maybe a foundation or two - it felt good to be out in the woods. There was one bad thing and that was three motocross bikers tearing up the trail. Mo got mad because I told them it was a hiking trail, but it really was dumb to be where they were. It has been nice to be out on a weekend without worrying about correcting papers and re-working lesson plans. I was at school the other day working with seniors who are working on a website for me. It is always great to go back as a visitor, and there are days when I realize that despite the decreased tension, I will miss the kids.